Covered in Ashes

 

Are you getting tired of my posts about wildfires and bad air?

I do.

But here I am writing yet another post about a raging wildfire in our county - the second one this season - and bad air. Well, that's an understatement. It's downright unhealthy air, in some places even hazardous.

Last Sunday evening at 8:27 our cell phones suddenly started to vibrate and make annoyingly loud dingdingdings alerting us about the Shady Fire making progress from Napa Valley where it originated over the mountains into Sonoma County toward the Eastern boundary of Santa Rosa. It soon merged with the Glass Fire that had also started in Napa and both fires were quickly renamed to just Glass Fire.

What worried me were the words "fast moving". Since 2017 we are well aware what "fast moving" means when it is attributed to a wildfire.

We also live in the Eastern part of Santa Rosa.

So we did what we were doing the past three years - moving our two grab-and-go boxes closer to the garage and packing our bags. We still went to bed, but around midnight our neighbor called telling us that they are getting ready to leave because the fire was apparently getting much closer. The evacuation zones were approaching the evacuation zone of our neighborhood (since the 2017 fires the neighborhoods in our city have designated evacuation zones that can be evacuated in an orderly and timely manner). While the next zone over was only an evacuation warning (which means "get ready", whereas the evacuation order means "leave now") the evacuation orders expanded with great speed. It was getting uncomfortable.

I got dressed and went outside, checked in on my elderly neighbors to make sure they were ready (they were). There was an orange glow on the Eastern horizon, a sky I only know too well and remember from the October 2017 fires. The constant high pitch sound of sirens was loud and clear and there were more cars than usual driving through our neighborhood at this time of night - people evacuating. It was enough to set me on edge.

I packed everything in the car and then went back to bed in my clothes. The evacuation orders went on throughout the night, but thankfully we never got one. The fire burned through some neighborhoods in the East while destroying several homes and damaging more. It's the district of my high school and again many of our students' families had to leave and some of them lost their homes.

This is not new to us. But it never becomes routine.

The next day ashes were raining down and covering everything. When I ventured outside - with my N95 mask - I saw that we not only got ashes but also all kinds of burnt debris including a lot of  charred leaves. Everything in our garden was covered in ashes - the tables, the seat cushions, all the plants.

How do you clean up this stuff? Very very carefully.

Now, five days later, the fires are hardly contained, but many evacuation orders have been downgraded. There was a change in the wind a couple days ago which pushed the fire further into Napa County. The entire city of Calistoga had to evacuate, followed by the evacuation of Angwin. The fire has been contained only 6% or so. We have a red flag warning with high temperatures and high winds which makes the work for the firefighters much more difficult and dangerous.

Then the wind changed again and blasted unhealthy air to us. It is awful. Our air filters run day and night and the Geek built a couple more out of our fans and filters for the heater. He's a smart and handy guy. Let's hope the power doesn't get shut off!

And in case you were wondering - I still love living here.

The Journey of a Japanese Pagoda

In 1999, when we were still living in Germany, the Geek had to go on a business trip to Japan. He had a free weekend during that trip and beside some sight seeing he also looked for little things he could bring back to us. Among them were two small concrete pagodas that I loved to use as decor among the flowers on my balcony.

When we moved to California, thinking we would return after three years, the pagodas went to storage. Since after those three years we decided to stay in the US and had received the Green Card, all our belongings were shipped to the home we lived in at that time - the Brookdale House.

You can see both of them sitting on the ground - as you can imagine, I wanted to take a photo of Ginger and only years later, when I was looking for it, discovered that the pagodas were in the picture.

I remember having them sit there for quite a while before I made up my mind where they should go. They first went into a container with some plants.

Finally, they both went into the ivy that was growing in one corner of the backyard. They were hard to see after a while.

Eventually they had almost completely disappeared under the ivy.

When we moved out of the Brookdale House, they ivy had taken over and the pagodas were hidden somewhere beneath it. In all the chaos of moving I had totally forgotten about them. Only a few weeks later I remembered them, but by then it was too late to go back to the house and ask the new tenants whether I could look for them in the backyard.

The Brookdale House burnt down during the October firestorm in 2017. Three weeks later, when we went up to our old home for the first time after the fires, we got the permission to enter the property. We walked around what was left of the house (it wasn't much) and recalled where everything used to be in the house. We also went into what used to be the backyard. Of the beautiful redwood deck only parts of the concrete foundation remained; there was a stump of the plum tree that my friend Jo harvested every fall; a skeleton of the persimmon tree. This tree used to be in the midst of the ivy, but nothing of the ivy was left. Everything was burnt.

But then... when I turned around I saw this:

I first couldn't believe my eyes and thought I was hallucinating. One of my pagodas had survived the inferno! I never found the second one, but I was over joyed (and crying) that this one was still there.

Since it was mine I took it with me. For the longest time it was sitting on our dining table. Sometimes I turned it around - it had a "beautiful" side (in the top photo), but it also had the telling side with the burn marks.

When spring came it moved outside into one of the big flower pots.

Finally I moved it into the garden, right beneath a young vitex. Over the months it has changed its color and looks more terracotta now. It will never live among the ivy again.

Tomorrow, Wednesday, October 9th, is the second anniversary of the 2017 firestorm. It is ironic that we have very similar weather conditions again and as a preventative step our utility company will shut off the power over a large part of Northern California. The outage will start tonight and last at least until Thursday evening, but restoring the power can take up to five days. If you don't hear from me, you know why.

Misty Morning at the Lake

Last Wednesday, the day after the first anniversary of the October wildfires, I had the deep desire to get into nature, to walk around the lake. It was a misty morning, so different from a year ago, and I enjoyed the cool clear air. It's always been a favorite place of mine, but this morning I enjoyed it even more.

The moment I got out of the car I was greeted by a flock of turkeys.

They love to hang out here and this is not the first time that we have crossed each other. They usually keep to themselves and that's what they did this morning as well.

I chose not to walk around the lake along the paths I normally take but decided to wander along the narrow trails away from the popular path. It is here that I have found my favorite spot, where I sometimes sit and write in my journal.

It doesn't look like much, especially on a gray morning, but this is my personal slice of heaven. It is quiet here except for the continuous chatter of the woodpeckers that live here. I can hear the Canada Geese at the lake when they take off as well as the call of the Green Herons and the Belted Kingfisher. Lizards like to soak up the sun on the rocks and squirrels chase each other up and down the trees.

There are several Buckeye trees around, but the buckeyes are still hanging on the tree. In a few more weeks they will pop open and fall to the ground. I love their shiny golden-brown skin. They remind me a lot of the horse chestnuts we had in Germany around this time.

As always the woodpeckers were busy hammering holes in the utility pole that is standing here. I once saw a Red Shouldered Hawk sitting on top of it. While examining it more closely I saw that many holes were filled with acorns.

Back at the lake I was happy to see that the park management has hired goats to keep the underbrush low - this is one of the most environmental-friendly way to do it (though not cheap) and one of the best things to do to prevent wildfires. However, chasing or not - the goats weren't there.

But the deer were - more than in this picture. I have seen them so often - here and in my garden - but it still thrills me every time I see them (not so much in my garden though...). I just love wildlife.

Oh, and the California Quails! I always hear them, they make a very distinctive sound. However, they are quite shy and usually run in the bushes as soon as they hear or see a human approaching. It is lovely to watch them foraging on the ground. They look rather gray, but when you look closer (if you have a chance without them running away) you can see how pretty they actually are.

I apologize for the low quality of the pictures. They were all taken with my phone on a rather somber morning. The sun came out later in the day and it became quite hot again. This is Northern California for you - chilly in the morning, hot during the day, cold in the evening. And I love it.

The first anniversary of the fires the day before was quiet at the school. My colleague and I had decorated the library with fresh flowers and sparkling lights to make it a welcoming place (it was a safe space during that day for students who were overwhelmed and sad). At lunch we had therapy dogs coming in which is always popular with the kids. A few students came in during the day to talk to a counselor, but all in all it was a rather uneventful day. We were all thankful for that.

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The Fires One Year Later

Today it's been a year since we woke up to what would become the most destructive wildfire in the history of California.

Crown Hill in Fountaingrove

Some call it the first anniversary. The students at my high school, however, prefer the term "the fires one year later". One in nine of our students have lost their home during those fires.

One. In. Nine. Of 1600 students.

It still feels like yesterday that we woke up at 2:00 am to the worst week in our life. When I went to bed yesterday I had this huge knot in my stomach when I remembered a year ago. How we went to bed not knowing what would happen only a few hours later, and how much it would change our lives.

Of course our lives hadn't changed as much as for those people who lost their homes in the fires, far from it. They are still struggling with insurances, building permits, architects, rents that are way too high. Some are in the middle of rebuilding with some homes being ready to move in pretty soon. Others are still in the planning process. Others are frustrated about the many hurdles. And others got the money from the insurance and moved away.

The school year has been awful and each and every one of us - teachers and staff - were relieved when summer came and we could leave school behind for a couple months. This year we have a new administration and we have been off to a really good start. We will commemorate October 9th by having a "normal" day, but there will be a safe space in the library and we will have therapy dogs on campus. Last year after the fires these things helped a lot.

It's been a year, and still every conversation sooner or later turns to the fires. Talking about it is a way to go through it. Even though the nightmare is in our past, it's still there - in the burnt down neighborhoods we drive through daily, when we hear the sirens of police cars and fire trucks - especially the fire trucks. The smell of smoke, even only from a barbecue, brings up terrifying memories. I think we all have Nixle on our phone now and the emergency systems have been tested.

When I go to Davis and want to take the back roads I check weather conditions and Nixle alerts. I sure don't want to be trapped by a fire in the huge wooden area. Every time I drive along those roads I remember the drive we took there on the eve of the fires. I suspect it will always stay with me.

Crown Hill in the photo above is a neighborhood in Fountaingrove. We used to live right below it, and when we moved into our old house back in 2001 those homes on the hill were just in the process of being built. I remember the constant noise of construction. Now most of the homes are gone and some time in the future, the construction noise will be back. As it is in so many neighborhoods. It's good to see homes getting up again and hopefully families being able to move in and rebuild their lives.

As for our old house - the landlord has decided not to rebuild. The property has been cleared and is just dirt right now. It still makes me sad.

Six Months Later

It's been exactly six months when in the very early hours of Monday, October 9th 2017, we woke up to what would become the most destructive wildfire in the history of California. The week that followed was the worst week in my life and was utterly life changing for so many. 5300 homes and residences were destroyed in Santa Rosa alone. The devastation afterwards still leaves me speechless.

By now, most of the burned sites are cleared and the debris removal is almost complete. Where once used to be homes, trees and gardens is replaced by flat, cleared sites. Some trees are still standing, hoping that they might come back to life. All in all it's a pretty sad sight.

The big debris removal trucks are seen every day, and last month when one of those trucks drove down the hill (too fast?) and its brakes failed there was a rather bad accident involving seven injuries and a fire. This happened at a site that was badly burned during the October fires and for some people it was a traumatic déjà vu.

Here you can see one of those trucks, and the area behind it is our old neighborhood. The red x marks the spot where our old house used to be (I'm still so relieved that we moved a few years before the fire). We have heard that the landlord is not going to rebuild.

He is not alone. Many people have found out that they have been under insured or rebuilding will be just too expensive. Many lots have gone up for sale. Other people, neighbors in a street, have come together and want to rebuild together to keep costs lower. So far, only one home - in the Coffey Park neighborhood - has been erected since the builders were able to use the existing foundation of the house. This is not possible with most houses since the foundations were removed as part of the government-funded debris removal. However, even if it's only one home, it's a sign of hope. But still there are not even 200 building permits being currently processed since most people are still figuring out how much money they get from their insurance.

Six months later they still struggle. Some insurances have been better than others. It gave me a lot of pause. There also is a lot of price gouging, rents have gone up astronomically and the housing problems we had before the fires have become a serious housing crisis. People affected by the fire have moved away because they weren't able to find a place to live that they could actually afford.

24 people in Sonoma County (43 in all the affected counties together) lost their lives in the fires. For the past six months there has been a debate whether the county could have done more in terms of warning the population (a resounding YES). Officials have resigned over the decision not to activate the emergency system (why oh why?). While everybody agrees that no one could have been prepared for a natural disaster of such dimensions it is also clear that serious mistakes have been made (and hopefully we will learn from them).

Many people have PTSD in various degrees. When the county decided to make steep cuts to the mental health services the outcry was fierce and somehow the money for keeping up these services was found. Mental health issues have increased - I can see that in my school, and as someone said "we're not out of the woods yet" when it comes to the emotional toll of the fires.

The scars in our community will be visible for a very long time.

Nature, however, is bouncing back. Right after the fires the hills were charred and there are still a lot of burned trees in the landscape (they appear orange-brown and black in the photos).

However, since wildfire is important and necessary for California's nature, everything is coming back to life. There are beautiful wildflowers, and plants that need fire for their seedpods to open are making a big return . I think we're in for a huge gift by nature. Looking around the hills and mountains you can clearly see where the fires burned and destroyed, but you can also see all the new signs of life.

Everywhere there are still the "thank you" signs for our first responders, and I have a feeling that they will be around for a while. These men and women were working tirelessly in some of our darkest hours. My respect for them is immense.

At the End of the Year

The last week in a year is either busy away from home spent on some road trip in the American Southwest or it is very slow and quiet at home. This year we opted to stay at home and just relax. None of us has really felt the spirit of the season. Usually I write a Christmas letter to my friends and family in Germany which gives me the opportunity to look back at the year, but this year I didn't write a single Christmas card, nor a letter. When I try to let the year pass in review there usually are some highlights all over the year that come up, but this year I struggled to remember anything before October.

So I looked at my photos and the memories came back.

The year started out very wet with lots of much needed rain and much (less needed) flooding. I remember there were roads in our county that were completely flooded for days and weeks, parks were closed and the drought finally came to an end - at least for the time being.

I drove to Davis and back several times over the year, sometimes just in order to see Kaefer for a few hours. We visited the cows on campus, saw a powwow, shopped at the farmer's market and helped her moving into an apartment with her friends.

In February family from Turkey came over to visit for a couple days, and we spent a joyful President's Day weekend together, exploring the coast, an old fort and quite some of the wineries in our county.

I took many hikes, either alone, with Kaefer or a friend, and with the Geek. There even were some family hikes that we squeezed in every now and then.

In July we went to Yellowstone. We camped in our favorite campground near Tower Falls, explored the geysers, admired the wonderful colors of the Grand Prismatic Spring, saw wildflowers galore and an abundance of wildlife and, of course, we hiked a lot. This national park is my magical place where I feel whole and at peace. Nature in abundance - this is my church.

In August we were witnessing something we had been waiting for many many years - a total solar eclipse. It was a truly magical moment that left us speechless and completely awestruck.

The summer was long and beautiful. I didn't have to be back at work until the middle of August and I enjoyed having Kaefer at home with me. We got on some hikes, went out for coffee, did some shopping and sometimes just sat together watching some movies. It was hard after those weeks to see her leaving for college again and I missed her a lot at the beginning. But it didn't take too long to get back into the routine. I was busy with my work at both schools, met my friends regularly and was knitting up a storm.



Then October came along.

Even though we are the lucky ones who haven't lost our home I still haven't really recovered from what happened to our community. Everyone here has been affected by the fires some way or other. Even now, almost three months later, the main topic in conversations with friends, acquaintances and strangers is the fire. Everything is still very raw and it is difficult to find some kind of normalcy. For me there is, however, a deep sense of gratefulness for what we have.



What October lacked in autumn colors, November and even December gave us generously. Wine country wore a colorful dress of brilliant yellows, oranges and reds, and even some very fresh green after a few rain showers. Being out in nature started the healing process and even helped to forget that terrible October for a few moments.

May 2018 be a good, healthy and peaceful year for you. My best wishes are going out to you. See you next year!