Art and Nature - a Nurturing Weekend

Another week has gone by without me posting anything - so much for doing the August Break. I certainly will come back for some more August Break postings - but not quite yet.

Today I want to tell you about my weekend up in the Sierra.

My friend Wendy Ward, a wonderful artist (you can find more about her here and here), was teaching a painting class there - a mermaid painting class. I like mermaids, and I like Wendy. I hadn't seen her for four years and I missed her. So rather spontaneously I decided to sign up, drive those three hours to the Sierra, take the class and spend the rest of the weekend with Wendy. I was looking forward to this time just for myself very much.

Seeing Wendy again was wonderful! It didn't feel like not seeing each other for four years - it felt more like I had just talked to her the day before. We pretty much took off where we left all those years ago.

She is an exceptional art instructor. We were eight women with different levels of painting experience. It didn't matter - Wendy brought us all together and we painted for six hours and created our mermaids. She taught me a new technique which I loved.

Our table looked quite chaotic during class - we were painting like crazy!

By the end of class, each of us had her very own unique mermaid. It was interesting to see how different each mermaid was.

Wendy and I with my mermaid

After class, two other friends of Wendy - J. and E. - and myself went up into the mountains to stay the night with Wendy in her cabin.

It was a lovely drive up there, mainly through endless forest, along narrow winding, sometimes unpaved, roads with marvelous views over an amazingly blue lake, until we finally arrived at the cabin, deep in the woods. When I got out of the car, the scent of the forest hit me right on - absolutely beautiful. Besides, it was completely quiet. Heaven.

The welcome committee was expecting us!

The cabin was lovely, with a beautiful deck, where the sun spilled his warm evening light over the colorful chairs. I loved the reddish shade of the cabin wood - just look how lovely it glows in the golden light.

The evening turned out the way it should - with wine, good food, and even better conversation. We laughed a lot, but we also had some very serious topics - it was a good mix. It certainly wasn't boring - I felt that time was flying by, and suddenly we realized that it was pretty late and we better went to bed. I slept up in the loft, right at the open window - as I already mentioned, it was completely quiet. Incredible! Listening to the silence eventually lulled me into sleep....

... from which I woke up by the first rays of the sun. I felt completely refreshed.

We had a lovely breakfast after which J. and E. left while I still stayed for a few hours. Wendy and I took a walk in the woods, talking, talking, talking. We never ran out of something to say - there were so many interesting topics. Later, we sat on the deck, still talking. Deep talking, the kind of talk that really touches your soul. The kind of talk during which suddenly things become clear.

Fact is, I had the feeling that I was not living fully (yes, we talked a lot about feeling alive and vital), that there was no real vitality. I was wondering where that had gone. I also realized that I was strong, but that somewhere along the way this strong woman went into hiding. I wondered when this happened. I want to have her back.

I think this weekend was more than just seeing a friend, taking a class and having a great time in good company. It was the beginning of claiming back that strong woman, of letting go of all the guilt I often feel. It is getting my self back. I had felt all this before without being able to name it. When I saw Wendy's class announcement, something was calling me - why else would I drive three hours through the heat of the Central Valley to attend a class? I knew that I could talk to Wendy, that it would never be superficial, that we would go deep - and I knew that I needed it.

Saying good-bye was difficult. I could have stayed so much longer.

But I felt good during my drive home. I had opted not to take the interstate but drive along smaller roads, listening to some DVDs and singing along to the  music as loud as I could. It was liberating.

This weekend will stay with my for a long time and still nourish me for many days.

I found this hard to write - because of the language. These things can be so difficult to write in a foreign language. I wanted to write from the heart, about my feelings, about what was really going on - and I was limited by the words that should come easy.

Hello 2013

A new year. I've always liked the first few days of a new year. All the possibilities that lie ahead. A new year reminds me of a snow covered meadow - fresh snow, all whiteness, with no tracks been made by anyone, human or animal.

When I think of the year ahead the first thing that comes to mind is that we're all getting older. Kaefer will be

15 this spring, start 10th grade in the summer which means there are only three more years left until she will leave for college. I already feel bittersweet about it. 

I also think of my health and all the tests and screens I need to get done this year, like a colonoscopy. I really am not looking forward to that but I decided not to procrastinate any longer and finally get it done. The earlier in the year the better.

So many of us chose a word for the year that will give some kind of direction and commitment. The last two years I had the same word, being authentic. While this is something I always strive for, I feel it is time for a different word this year. Since the end of November the word "grow" has wandered through my head, never quite leaving my mind. It stayed foggy first, but then it became much clearer the more I thought about it.

Grow. I want to grow my business, get more serious with it. Somehow I feel I have played with my business more than being completely serious about it. The first time I felt like a business woman was when I paid my sales tax to the state this past summer. It wasn't that much, but somehow I felt rather satisfied afterwards. Sounds weird, doesn't it? Content to pay taxes? So anyway, I want to grow my business, make more sales, create more and have some good amount of inventory. Last year I started out with about 50 - 60 items in my   Etsy store; this year I have 150 items. I would love to reach around 300 items by the end of the year. However, I also want to have more sales - I would actually like to double my current sales number - and if I have those sales I probably won't reach the 300 number that easily. On the other hand, I don't want to be dictated by numbers only, but I also know that numbers is what counts in a business. I still need to find a good balance in my work; at the moment I tend to work many hours for my store and do so on the weekends as well. Which means I need to grow my balance ability (how does that sound?).

I also want to grow my blog. During the past year I have been very negligent of my blog, posted way less than I used to do. Of course this came mainly with the purchase of our home, the move and all the work on the house. However, I do enjoy writing, and creating beautiful blog posts gives me a great sense of accomplishment. I don't want my blog to become an ad space for my work. My work will be part of the blog, but I will not allow it to take up a lot of space. There is so much more to life than work, and I want to see this reflected in my blog as well.

And there are other things I want to grow. Relationships, friendships. Walks, being in nature. Time for reading. Listening to beautiful music. These are all things that I love to do and that were pushed on the backburner over the past year.

All photos in this post were taken along Highway 12 in Utah in December 2010

Have you chosen a word for 2013? What is your wish for this year? 

Let us know in the comments, if you like.

Blog Tired

It has been over a week since I last posted on my blog. This is quite unusual for me.

Since I started this space in July 2010 I have enjoyed it so very much. Sure, sometimes I didn't quite know what to write about, but that lasted for about a day or two and then the ideas were flowing again. Nothing to worry about.

The best part of blogging is connecting with other bloggers. I've found so many kindred spirits here that I have hardly found in "real" life. There is inspiration galore, opportunities to learn, to take part in challenges - the list is endless. In short, blogland has been a great place.

However, I have felt a weird tiredness over the past few weeks. I used to blog so often, and currently I write one or two posts a week. This week, I haven't written anything. I wonder what is going on, whether I just need a little break. Is this only temporarily? Or is it something bigger?

There is a lot going on in my life at the moment . First of all, the Geek had surgery last Thursday and that was on my mind a lot in all the weeks before. It went well and he is very perky, recovering from the three hours surgery surprisingly fast. He still is in pain, but for that we have those lovely pills...

January was very busy in my Etsy shop, and I am thankful for that. I had several custom orders and sold lots of Valentine's cards. It caught me by surprise, I have to say, I had thought that after Christmas things would be very slow, but I actually was way more busy than before Christmas. It's good to see that people want to show their love for other people, no matter how. February was exceptionally slow, and currently it's picking up again with custom orders for St. Patrick's Day. I'm doing a happy dance here.

There is a lot more going on, but I don't want to bore you with all the details. The outcome, however, of all of this is that I've lost my mojo for writing my blog. It's not that I don't have ideas - I actually do, and I know that I will put them in here one day, but just not yet. I want my blog posts to come from my heart and be honest, and at the moment I feel I can't do that. Everything is just blah, and to write only for the sake of creating another post to keep this blog going without my heart in it? No, I'd rather not.

So I think I might take a little break from my blog - but as soon as something crosses my mind that I want to share with you, I will. I know that I will be back, I just need to get rid of that pressure that I am putting on myself for no reason at all.

But please tell me - do you ever feel like that, and what do you do if you're blog tired?
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