I’m 51 today.
Turning thirty and forty was no big deal for me. However, when I turned fifty last year, it dawned on me that more than half of my life was already over. How many years would I still have? Twenty? Thirty, if I’m lucky? And how was I planning to spend those years?
Those were the questions that occupied me for the first half of last year, and I only knew that I didn’t want to go back into an office job I didn’t enjoy, but do something where my heart was in it and that nourished my soul. I read books, I took my first e-course with Visionary Mom that helped me to name my dreams and formulate what I really wanted to do. Exactly around that time I started reading “Taking Flight” by Kelly Rae Roberts. She mentioned her blog in her book, and just out of curiosity I switched on my computer and visited her website.
Oh boy… She advertised her very first e-course, “Flying Lessons”. I read the outline and I knew that this was the course for me. This was exactly the answer to all my questions and my search. This was IT. I signed up the very first day – and it was the best thing I did for myself this last year and it has changed my life quite a bit.
I started my own blog without really knowing what I was doing. I “met” people in blogland who have become friends. I found enormous support and was amazed at what others were doing. I became serious about my photography, found so much inspiration that led me to try new perspectives, to take pictures of completely different motives than I did before. It was fun and incredibly encouraging. I made more art than before and I even showed it on my blog. It was a whirlwind.
Years ago I had stopped to make any New Year’s resolutions because I knew that I usually wouldn’t keep them. And honestly, who cares whether I loose ten pounds or not (actually I did over the past year! Without a resolution – but a lot of exercise). So no resolutions for 2011 either. But I have a few wishes for my birthday.
I want to be truly authentic. When I write or comment, it’s ME who spills out those words, my thinking and feeling. It’s not what I think others want to hear or read, but something that is ME no matter whether it is “popular” or not. It is okay to be different and to think differently. It is also okay if I can’t express myself perfectly. Everybody who comes to this site knows that I am not a native speaker, that some sentences will sound funny or weird. What the heck? It doesn’t matter. Being authentic means that I’ll be vulnerable. It needs a lot of courage, but I want to do this. Perhaps it’ll hurt sometimes, however, I can gain so much from that. It is perfectly okay to be imperfect.
There are other wishes – like doing more art, getting more serious about my photography, opening my Etsy store, read, write more and worry less, but being authentic is the most important one. Many bloggers had a certain word for the new year - my word for 2011 is